


retrouvaille

by PiggyNagi



Series: loved you then, love you still [2]
Category: Wanna One (Band)
Genre: M/M, a 13k of minhyun being dramatic and waxing poetics, a hint of nielwink, daehwi is mentioned, the sequel to penpal au
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-05
Updated: 2018-03-05
Packaged: 2019-03-27 11:11:34
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,698
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13879644
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PiggyNagi/pseuds/PiggyNagi
Summary: (n.) the joy of meeting or finding someone again after a long separation; rediscovery





	retrouvaille

**Author's Note:**

> A sequel to [fate brought us together, but apart](https://archiveofourown.org/works/13443546)
> 
> set in 2004, where damage proof nokia phones and sleek mp3 players are in demand.
> 
> as always, I don't have a beta so there's mistakes here and there.  
> songs are linked at the fic itself if you want to listen~
> 
> i hope you enjoy~.

Minhyun was twenty seven when he contemplated if he wants to start all over again.

 

One week ago, the boss from his company told him that he’s getting promoted as a vocal trainer for their sister company. However, he’s being relocated to Seoul, and that he has to start packing if he wants to get settled in the city as he’s expected to be there for orientation a month from then.

 

Moving to Seoul means a lot to him. He’s excited per se. Their sister company is an entertainment agency where one of his best friends, Dongho, works as a music producer. He haven’t met him ever since Dongho, and the rest of their high school clique, hung out for dinner and drinks a week after their university graduation. And that was three years ago.

 

Seven years ago, his best friends from high school moved to the said city to pursue their degree, and he was left behind in Busan with his family and new friends. Even though he has new friends, they still kept in contact, especially when mobile phones and dial up started to surface in the market. At that time, he didn’t want to leave Busan because he says he’s sensitive to change. He doesn’t want to leave the comforts of his home, the fresh smell of the sea, the delicious taste of seafood, and the familiar roads and buildings of Busan.

 

That’s what his mind wants to believe. His heart, after so many years of ignoring it, still begs to differ.

 

Packed and ready to go, he gets in the van that the company hired to help him relocate. Minhyun gives the driver a slip of paper, “Sir, can we go to this address before we head to Seoul? I want to visit my mom before we leave.”

 

Nodding, the driver says a cheerful ‘okay’. Minhyun, after thanking the driver, unconsciously strokes the fox pendant on his bracelet that he’s wearing with his thumb, and hums a familiar song from six years ago.

 

“Mom!” Minhyun shouts as he enters his mom’s apartment. He sees a middle aged woman coming out from the kitchen.

 

“Oh, Minhyunnie! Aren’t you supposed to head to Seoul today?” His mom asks as she wipes her hands on her apron.

 

Minhyun nods, “Yeah. I just want to see you before I leave.” His mom coos at his statement and proceeds to hug his son and pat his back.

 

“I’ll visit you when Sujin has time to accompany me.” They smile as they release their hug. “Did you visit your dad?”

 

“Yeah, I did yesterday.” He smiles, “I’ll be going now, mom. The driver’s just waiting outside.” Minhyun says as he kissed his mom on her cheek.

 

“Wait, before you go,” his mom hurriedly walks to her room, and comes out with a familiar box. “I know you told me to keep this on your behalf. But since you’re heading to where he is, isn’t it about time for you to finally find him?” His mom gives him the metal box before he could refuse.

 

“Think about it, my son.” His mom caresses his cheek, as if wiping an invisible tear on the corner of his eyes. “It’s been six years, think about your happiness for once.”

 

Minhyun, for the entire four hour car ride to Seoul, either stared at the window beside him or at the metal box on his lap.

 

———————-

lxxxiv.

———————-

 

  
Oh I miss you, I miss you

Your last words as you got far away

It’s strange, I’m afraid, I need you  
I hate myself for realizing this now  
  
This foolishly regret-filled song  
I hope it reaches the sky  
My prayer that looked at you all night  
[I hope it reaches your heart](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cCOPLqDibfQ)

 

Minhyun looks at the children playing at the playground as he lets Dongho read his composed lyrics on his notebook. They’re at the park near his apartment, and they’re hanging out before he starts his work as the vocal trainer of their company the next day.

 

At his peripheral vision, he sees Dongho lower the notebook on his hand. “Minhyun, I’m really glad to see you again after so many years,” His best friend lifts the notebook. “But why is this composition about a relationship breakup?”

 

Minhyun shrugs as he turns his gaze at him, can’t really answer Dongho directly. “What do you think about it?”

 

“I think you should’ve been a singer-songwriter instead of working behind the scenes.” Minhyun jokingly shoves Dongho on his seat at the comment.

 

Dongho, after laughing, questions softly, “Is this about him?”

 

Knowing all too well that Dongho knows the answer to his own question, Minhyun just sighs.

 

“You know,  we still believe you should’ve contacted him six years ago.” Dongho comments, staring at his friend. “You are the most intelligent person I’ve ever known, but you are also the dumbest when it comes to situations like this.”

 

“You guys know why I didn’t.”

 

“And Minki and I told you your decision is the most ridiculous thing we’ve ever heard coming from your mouth.” Dongho argues, slightly raising his voice, “Now, who’s composing all these sad, break up poems. You didn’t even have a proper breakup and yet you talk and write like you had.”

 

“If his last letter was not an indication, his mixtape did, even though I didn’t listen to it. You’re the one who listened to it, and you told me he sang like he’s giving up the relationship.”

 

“It’s because you didn’t tell him what happened!” His best friend frustratingly exclaims, “Look, we all know that you had a lot in your hands when it happened, but if you just told him, I bet he’ll understand. Everybody understood, why did you think he wouldn’t?”

 

Minhyun falls into silence, hands clasp together and head down low. Dongho sighs and pats his friend’s back. Soon after, he sees Minhyun’s frame shaking and hears him sniffling. The latter lets himself get hugged by his best friend.

 

“It still hurts.” Minhyun stutters to his best friend as he confesses what he kept bottled in his heart after all these years. “I know I should’ve listened to you guys, but all I’ve felt back then was guilt. I got scared.” He breathes heavily, “I guess I deserve this pain that I’m feeling.”

 

Dongho hushes Minhyun, hands stroking the latter’s arm for comfort. “You know I don’t usually say this, but if you’re really destined to be together, fate will bring you back together.” Dongho pauses as he says his next words, “or create your own fate. Be brave, listen to that mixtape and write him back.”

 

Minhyun wipes his tears, gets his notebook from Dongho’s hands, and stands up. “I’m going home.”

 

Dongho stares at him, “Think about your happiness, Minhyun-ah.”

 

Minhyun laughs sarcastically, “Are you and my mom calling each other? You both said the exact same words.”

 

“That’s because we know you too well, Minhyun.”

 

“Whatever.” He’s ready to walk away when Dongho stops him, “Can I work on your piece and produce it? It will be such a waste if your compositions won't see the light of the day..”

 

“Sure thing. At least every body could listen to what I want to say. I’ll give you a copy of it tomorrow.” He waves at Dongho and finally walks away, never looking back at his best friend.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

He’s running late.

 

Minhyun anxiously stands at the subway, praying for the train to arrive faster at his stop. He usually sleeps early and wakes up when his only alarm rings. But last night, he stayed up late thinking about Dongho’s words, the fatigue from crying took a toll on him. That morning, his brain chose to wake up thirty minutes before his work starts.

 

_Arriving at Gangnam Station. Arriving at Gangnam Station._

 

Minhyun thinks he made a good decision to stand close to the train doors. If he has to squeeze himself out of the sea of people before him, he won’t make it out by the time the door closes.

 

As soon as the train doors open, he bolts out, swiftly maneuvering in between the people on his way. However, he miscalculated and collided at the back of a man walking in front of him.

 

Minhyun apologizes quickly as he looks mindlessly to the person he bumped. He raises his palm up, signalling that he’s sorry, and walks out without looking back at the stranger.

 

If Minhyun did look back, he’ll see the stranger that he bumped standing there like a statue, staring at his retreating back wide eyed both in shock and in confusion, all while clutching his bracelet on his wrist with a seal pendant on it.

 

Minhyun arrived at his new cubicle and proceeded to organize his things at his desk when he feels someone tapping him.

 

“You are here early, Minhyun-ssi.” His new boss, Kwon Boa, says as he stands up, bows in respect and shakes her hand. “I am sorry, Boa-ssi. I know I am thirty minutes late.”

 

“What do you mean you’re late? You arrived here at eight thirty. Your work starts at nine o’clock.” His boss, and the person beside him, chuckles at Minhyun’s confused expression as they retract their hands. “You must’ve thought you’re still in the Busan branch.” He sees Boa gesturing at the person beside him, “This is Kim Jaehwan, your partner in vocal training. He’ll show you the ropes on where and how we do things here.”

 

Minhyun extends his hand to Jaehwan, “Nice meeting you, Jaehwan-ssi. I’m Hwang Minhyun.”

 

He sees Jaehwan’s eyebrows knot in deep thought, “Have we met before?”

 

It’s his turn to furrow his eyebrows as they retract their hands. _I’ve never left Busan since birth. So is this guy hitting on me right in front of our boss?_ “Errr. I don’t think so. Never left Busan until now.”

 

“That’s odd,” Jaehwan says, “I think I heard your name somewhere before.”

 

 _His name does sound familiar, too._ Before he could respond, Boa hits Jaehwan’s head playfully while the latter makes a painful whine. “Are you seriously doing your lame moves to Minhyun-ssi, right in front of me?”

 

“I’m not flirting with him, Ms. Kwon. He’s not even my type!” Jaehwan explains while nursing his head.

 

“I’m very sorry about Jaehwan, Minhyun-ssi. I hope you’re patient enough to be with him until further notice.” Minhyun smiles back at his boss, eyes full of mirth, “Oh, I’m actually immune to that kind of humor, Ms. Kwon. I believe my friends are worse than Jaehwan-ssi.” They chuckled.

 

“Alright, then. I’ll leave you in Jaehwan’s hands.” His boss turns to the latter, “Don’t do anything stupid.”

 

“Ma’am, you know I don’t do anything stupid when it comes to work.” Jaehwan reassures.

 

“I know, but sometimes you get sidetracked, and you do stupid things when you’re sidetracked.” Boa smiles, “Anyways, I have to get back to the office now. Enjoy the tour, Minhyun-ssi.”

 

“Thank you, Ms. Kwon.” Minhyun bows. He sees Jaehwan bow as well as their boss leaves them.

 

“So, shall we start the tour, Minhyun-ssi?” Jaehwan asks.

 

“Lead the way, Jaehwan-ssi.”

 

 

The tour to his office really went well. Jaehwan patiently guided him through the office and answered all his questions, whether related to work or the ridiculous type of questions. He did enjoy the office tour and Jaehwan’s company that he let the formalities drop naturally.

 

Jaehwan shared that he has been a vocal trainer for almost two years, and that his students ranged from barely having a talent for singing to students with a perfect pitch. He said that he enjoys seeing his students improve and showcase their talents on TV. Most of his students already debuted and are already taking over South Korea by storm.

 

Minhyun says he wishes he’ll feel the proud feeling that Jaehwan felt with his students. The younger tells him he’ll feel it soon enough.

 

Jaehwan invited him for coffee after work and Minhyun agreed. If he’s going to be his partner, might as well befriend him. Well, nothing’s wrong with having new friends.

 

They continued talking about anything under the sun, but it’s mostly Jaehwan asking questions about his life in Busan. He shares that he’s friends with Dongho since middle school and was not surprised when Jaehwan knows the man.

 

“Oh, I was actually intimidated when I first saw him.” Jaehwan confesses, “He was my vocal training partner when I first started, and oh boy, I almost pissed in my pants when Ms. Kwon introduced me to him.”

 

“Dongho? Scary?” Minhyun laughs heartily, “If you knew how he was back then, you’ll surely change your opinion about him.”

 

“Oh, I changed my opinion, alright.” Jaehwan says, “A month after being under his wing, I slowly discovered that he’s just a big teddy bear under that exterior. I mean, at that time, I thought his favorite genre was action but I saw him watching a melodrama on his TV while eating a bowl of cereal.”

 

Minhyun continues laughing. That sounded one hundred percent Kang Dongho. He was about to share the dumb things Dongho did in the past but he was interrupted when Jaehwan received a phone call.

 

“Oh, hyung!” Jaehwan pauses, listening to the person on the other line, “I’m here with a colleague at the cafe near my workplace.” He paused. “Wait, I’ll ask. Hyung, is it okay to let my friend join us? He has something to give to me and he’s around the area.” Minhyun nods his head, “You can come, he says he doesn’t mind. Ok, see you. Bye.” He sees Jaehwan flip his phone close to end the call.

 

“Jaehwan-ah, Minhyun-ah!” Both of them looked at the call of their names and saw Dongho coming closer to their table. “How’s the first day?”

 

“It was alright, kinda annoyed by how Jaehwan goes off topic every time.” Minhyun teases, earning a glare from Jaehwan and a laugh from Dongho.

 

“You don’t want to experience how he was years ago.” Dongho also joins the teasing, making Jaehwan direct his glare at his former partner. “You two really are friends.”

 

Dongho calms himself down from laughing, “Anyways, I’m here to whisk Minhyun away. Our high school friends wants to see his dumb face.”

 

It’s Minhyun’s turn to glare at Dongho, “Yah!” Jaehwan joins in, “I cannot believe your high school friends demands to see that dumb face.” Minhyun hits his head, but ruffles his hair afterwards. “Do you want us to wait until your friend arrives? We don’t mind staying here for a little bit.”

 

Jaehwan gestures for them to go, “It’s alright, he said he’ll be here in a minute.” Minhyun stands up and ruffles his colleague’s hair again, “Okay then. See you tomorrow, Jaehwan!”

 

Minhyun and Dongho left the cafe. Walking back to the company to get Dongho’s car, he looks back at Jaehwan’s table through the glass windows and sees that his abandoned seat was already occupied by another man. He thought that at least Jaehwan didn't wait long for his friend, and jogged to his best friend to catch up with him.

 

_~~~~_

 

A minute after Minhyun and Dongho left the cafe, Jaehwan sees his uninvited friend burst through the cafe doors and stride through his seat.

 

“Oh, I thought you’re with your new colleague.” His friend says as a greeting. Jaehwan shrugs, “They just left a minute ago. His friend came to fetch him and said they have high school reunion.”

 

“Well, okay. I’m going to order something to drink.” His friend stands up and queues to the register to order his drink, and comes back to the table with a large sized iced americano. Jaehwan sees his friend touch the seal pendant on his bracelet once he’s seated, a habit that he developed over the years.

 

“So what is this about, hyung?”

 

“I think he’s here in Seoul.”

 

_~~~~_

 

———————-

lxxxv.

———————-

 

It’s been a month since Minhyun is living in Seoul, and he can say that he’s adjusting quite well.

 

Being a vocal trainer is quite draining, but is enjoyable as well. Jaehwan was right, his students’ skills ranges from being an unreleased potential to being well executed. And like Jaehwan, he enjoys teaching the students regardless. He feels proud whenever the students achieve what they thought they couldn’t from the start, and when that happens, he treats them with something to eat at their company’s cafeteria.

 

He just parted ways with his students from their snack time and was on his way to his cubicle when he sees Dongho waving at him from his studio.

 

“Yah, Minhyun! Come here, I need your help.”

 

Minhyun makes his way to the studio and enters the room, “What do you want, bandit?”

 

“Drop that old school nickname, please.” Dongho pleads. “I finished your song and I want you to record a demo for it.” The said bandit sits down on his chair and proceeds to play the song.

 

Sounds of mellow keyboard notes along with the beat from a beatbox could be heard in the studio. He then hears Dongho’s voice, singing the song that he composed. After the song stopped playing, Minhyun tells Dongho that it was great enough, and he doesn’t see the point of recording it with his voice.

 

“But we have different vocal tones. The song will have a different feeling once you sing this song. Trust me.”

 

And he did trust the music producer’s intuition. He proceeded to the recording booth and started to sing. After Dongho gave out some pointers, the song was finished and they’re currently listening to it.

 

Someone knocks and opens the studio’s door. However, the two who was already in the room did not notice the new presence as they’re immersed with what they’re doing.

 

“Is this a new demo, Dongho-hyung?”

 

The two friends jumped from their seats, causing the song playing to stop abruptly. “Jaehwan!” Both of them breathed hard to calm down their hearts.

 

The uninvited presence laughed at their surprised expressions, “If only I could take a picture of your faces!” he then imitated their shocked expressions.

 

Minhyun hits Jaehwan’s arm, “What are you even doing here?”

 

“I was passing by from the bathroom when I heard the song. The beat got me hooked, so I came in.” Jaehwan answers, “So, is this a new demo, hyung?”

 

“I hope,” Dongho replies and looks at the person beside him, “if Minhyun agrees.”

 

“Why do you need Minhyun hyung’s approval?” Jaehwan inquires. Minhyun answers this time, “Because I wrote the song.”

 

“Oh, really? Can we hear it from the very beginning?”

 

Dongho played the song from the very beginning and the trio listened intently. As soon as the song stopped playing, Jaehwan only has one comment to Minhyun,

 

“Hyung, I didn’t know you were in a relationship and was regretting the breakup.” Dongho breaks out a laugh at Jaehwan’s opinion. Minhyun’s ears grow red, “No, I’m not.”

 

“Oh, yes he did. He’s been suffering from a complicated break up for six years.” Dongho reveals, making Minhyun pinch his ears hard enough for Dongho to yelp in pain.

 

Jaehwan gasps amidst of the chaos. “Wow! Six years! We have a loyal man here! What happened?”

 

“It’s complicated, Jaehwan. Your brain won’t be able to take the information.” Jaehwan pouted at the older’s statement, but decided not to press it. The man has the right for privacy, after all.

 

“Anyways, can I keep a copy of it? I want to listen to it while I’m showering.”

 

Before Minhyun could counter, Dongho puts his palm up, signalling Jaehwan to give him his mp3 player. The latter cheerfully hands his mp3 player to his former partner. Minhyun looks at the exchange, feeling betrayed. “I don’t have any say about this? I need revenue, too.”

 

“Nope. This is my reward for keeping myself up with your nagging.” Jaehwan talks back. His despicable friend and Minhyun’s supposed to be best friend high fived cheerfully, and Minhyun can’t help but groan.

 

“Seriously, I need new friends.”

 

Jaehwan retaliates, “I am your new friend.”

 

He didn’t stop himself from hitting Jaehwan’s head, hard enough to keep him tight lipped for a few minutes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

It’s the same month that Minhyun decided to create his own fate.

 

He’s lounging on his sofa on his day off, watching some music broadcast full of dizzy camera angles, when he sees the metal box underneath his television. He stood up and went to get it, contemplating whether he is already brave enough to open up the past, his past. He believes that he is, so he gathers his courage and unlocks Pandora’s box.

 

The smell of old paper clouded his senses as soon as he uncovers the box, and lots of faded pictures were kept inside of it. In the box, his old walkman was accumulating dust despite being shut to the world, along with the only mixtape that he received years ago that only his friends listened to.

 

Out of all the opened letters, one unopened letter stood out the most to him. He remembers receiving it from the mailman, but he’s too afraid to check what’s written on it, so he decided not to open it at all.

 

Averting his gaze from the sealed letter, he reaches out to his old walkman, plugs the earphones in, and ponders if he should finally listen to it as his thumb hovers at the play button. His thumb, however, has a mind of its own and presses the button before he could stop himself.

 

Hearing guitar sounds emanating from his earphones sounds soothing, but it sounds and feels sad at the same time. He wonders if he should stop listening, until he hears the voice of someone who sent the mixtape years ago.

 

Seongwu’s voice sounded calm, but velvety and sad at the same time. His light but deep voice sounded out of this world, like he’s been singing for the masses for so long, like he’s born to sing for everyone. While listening, he reaches out on one of the photos in the box and thinks that his voice and his face, despite the faded condition of the photo, fits well together.

 

As the song finishes, he didn’t realize that his eyes were streaming with tears until one drops on his arm. He hastily wipes his cheeks and opens his walkman, pulling out the mixtape on it. He’s about to put it back to rewind the mixtape when he notices a small handwriting on the mixtape—“my heart.” Remembering what he did years ago when he confessed to Seongwu, he quickly puts the mixtape to side B and presses play.

 

 _“Minhyunnie,”_ Goosebumps crept up on his skin as he hears Seongwu’s sad voice. He chokes with air as he listens further to the recording, memories of what happened to him flashed in his mind when he closed his eyes

 

 _“Are you doing well? I hope you are, because I am not.”_ He hears Seongwu sniffle at the recording, and he mirrors the sound right after.

 

_“It’s just sad that we have to end up like this. When we started this kind of relationship, I was so sure that we’ll last together, that despite being apart, we’ll defy all the odds and prove that distance would never be a problem in our relationship._

 

_But I’m wrong, it seems._

 

_It hurts me that you’ve never written what happened to you all these weeks. I spent my time waiting, checking the mailbox to see if you finally replied. I kept on rereading your sweet letters, listening to your mixtapes, and kept on looking at the pictures you sent. I thought that your letter will magically appear in front of my eyes if I kept on reading them. But when I didn’t see any letter from you, I locked myself in my room and cried myself to sleep. I shut myself out from the world, because the world is worthless without your letters, without your voice, without you._

 

_I’m not ready to let you go, and I know my heart probably never will. But I guess we’re not really destined to be together in this time. If  the deity has other plans for us, and if they will bring us back together, I just hope it will be soon. Maybe not now, but maybe in the few years time._

 

_If ever we finally meet each other in the future, I hope we’ll never hesitate to rekindle our relationship. And by that time, I’m going to make sure that we’ll do it right._

 

_I love you, Hwang Minhyun. Yesterday, today and tomorrow._

 

*click*

 

Sobs and sniffles could only be heard in the quiet apartment, wallowing from the extreme sadness that he feels after finally listening to the mixtape.

 

Dongho never mentioned about the side b of the mixtape before. Reaching for his mobile phone, he calls his best friend to confirm. Dongho tells him that the only thing that he heard back then was the song Seongwu sang, and that he didn’t explore the tape further.

 

He bids goodbye to his best friend after assuring him that he’ll be fine, and places his phone beside him. He then spots the unopened letter on the metal box. He didn’t tell anyone about this sealed letter when he received it, afraid that he’ll break down in front of them, and make his resolve crumble in an instant. Curious on the content of the last letter Seongwu had sent to him, he decided that it’s time to finally open it.

 

_Minhyun,_

 

_Tell me, why does love end?_

_I don’t know why._

_Why are things that disappear, so beautiful?_

_Maybe it’s just a daydream.[Love is a daydream.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oPs_5uq1rEU)_

 

_OSW._

 

Heart aching at Seongwu’s passage, Minhyun shakes his head, disagreeing that their love is just a daydream. He knows in his heart that the love that they had for each other was genuine and sincere. Deciding that it’s time to stop waiting for fate to do something for his hopeless love life, he grabs a pen and paper and writes:

 

_Seongwu,_

 

_I know I’m six years too late, but I’m living here at Seoul right now and I hope to meet you to explain what happened to me years ago._

 

_Here’s my mobile number, XXX-XXX-XXXX. I hope to hear from you soon._

 

_Sincerely,_

_Hwang Minhyun_

 

Minhyun slips the letter on an envelope, and writes Seongwu’s old address on it. He hopes fate is still beside him and let his sincerity reach Seongwu.

 

 

~~~~

 

Jaehwan sets up the song Minhyun composed and recorded on repeat as his background song before he showers. He really can’t live without music. He loves music too much that every little thing that he does includes either him singing, or his mp3 player playing songs at the background. It also didn’t help that he loves the song Minhyun and Dongho composed and produced.

 

All showered and ready to go to work, Jaehwan grabs his music player and yanks the door open. He gets surprised as his roommate was just outside the door, hair sticking out and face marred with marks from his deep sleep, staring at him wide eyed like he saw or heard something that he didn’t expect. He steps back and holds his mobile phone on his chest, still playing Minhyun’s song.

 

“Yah! Hyung! You scared me!” Jaehwan exclaimed.

 

“That guy singing,” His roommate starts, “who’s that?”

 

“Ah, my partner in vocal training, you know, the one who always nags at my filthy lifestyle. He composed this song, his friend says he can’t get over his lost love six years ago.” Jaehwan explained as he closed the door of their shared bathroom. “Why, hyung? What’s the matter?”

 

“Name, Jaehwan.” His friend says deeply, “I need a name.”

 

“Why, hyu—-” Before Jaehwan finishes what he’s going to say, his roommate slams his fist on the wall. Jaehwan jumps in shock, “What is his name, Kim Jaehwan!”

 

“Geez, no need to get violent.” The music lover says, and stares at his roommate, “Hwang Minhyun. His name is Hwang Minhyun.”

 

He sees his friend gasp and step back at the mention of Minhyun’s name. Scared, he asks “Why, hyung? What’s the matter?”

 

“Jaehwan, it’s him.”

 

The music lover was confused, “What about him?”

 

“The penpal that I had eight years ago.”

 

It’s Jaehwan’s turn to get shocked. “What are you planning to do, hyung?”

 

Recovering from his frozen state, his friend turns around.

 

“I better call Daniel.”

 

~~~~

 

———————-

lxxxvi. lxxxvii. lxxxviii.

———————-

 

Minhyun deliberates if he should challenge fate again.

 

A few days later, after he sent his first letter to Seongwu after so many years, he received a letter coming from the same address but not from Seongwu himself. It was from Seongwu’s mom, and according to her, Seongwu moved out of their place three years ago and has been living with his friend ever since. She says she didn’t open the letter, and that she’ll send Minhyun’s letter to Seongwu’s new address.

 

At the bottom of the letter, she wrote down Seongwu’s new address and his number without any additional words, aside from informing him that of Seongwu’s contact information. He also doesn’t miss the fact that it is somewhere a few blocks from where he is.

 

He feels like destiny is challenging him, too. Seongwu’s mom’s letter felt like it was mocking him that he’s too late in contacting him, but receiving Seongwu’s address and contact information felt like it’s testing his engagement to this. He feels like he’s facing two roads going the opposite ways, and he has to choose a road and stick to it without looking back.

 

He knows, at the back of his head, the consequences of choosing one road from the other. If he’s not going to contact Seongwu, he knows his heart will stay broken and that it will take a while to find his happiness again. However, if he’s going to contact Seongwu, he knows Seongwu is probably mad at him for neglecting him. He doesn’t know if the latter is going to accept him back, or worse, if there’s someone who already owns his heart.

 

He’s stuck.

 

“Is there something stuck on my face, Jaehwan-ah?”

 

Minhyun and Jaehwan are at their company’s cafeteria, eating lunch. Minhyun noticed that these past few days, Jaehwan kept on staring at him like he owns two heads and looked like he had something to ask him. However, whenever he asks him, he keeps on denying it. Like now.

 

“N-nothing, hyung.” Jaehwan answers nervously, and looks down on his food. Minhyun sighs, going back to quietly eating his food.

 

Few minutes had passed, Jaehwan broke the silent atmosphere. “Hyung, I’m just curious.” Jaehwan takes a deep breath as he prepares his next words, “What happened to you six years ago?”

 

Minhyun was shocked at the younger’s curious question. Staring at him wide eyed, he stutters. “W-what do you mean?”

 

“I meant what I said,” Jaehwan starts, his fork picking on his own food. Minhyun stares at him, as if prompting him to explain. “I just remembered Dongho-hyung mentioning it a few weeks ago.”

 

“And I told you it’s complicated, right?” Minhyun asks him. “Besides, it’s been few weeks. Why do you want to know now?”

 

Jaehwan shrugs and lifts his bottle of soda to his lips, “Maybe I could listen to whatever that is and offer you a solution.”

Minhyun stares at him straight in the eyes, “Do you know something that I don’t?”

 

The young man in question chokes on his drink. Once calmed down, he looks anywhere but Minhyun, “What are you talking about, hyung. I just want to help your non-existent love life. That’s all.” Jaehwan laughs nervously after. Minhyun drops his spoon abruptly, “I don’t need your assistance with my problems, Jaehwan.” He stands up and lifts his unfinished tray of food, “Please mind your own business.”

 

He walks away from their table, unfinished food at hand. He dumps them on the nearest bin and continues on his way, never looking back at Jaehwan.

 

 

 

~~~~

 

Jaehwan observes Minhyun walk away, dumping his unfinished food on the nearest trash and placing his tray on the pile of trays beside the bin. He releases the breath he’s unconsciously holding, realizing that despite Minhyun’s outgoing personality, the older turns into a cold iceberg once he’s mad.

 

His mobile phone rings once, signalling a text message. He checks on it and sees that his friend messaged him.

 

_From: Ong hyung_

_‘Come to our usual cafe after your work.’_

 

Sending an affirmation that he’ll be there, Jaehwan groans and grips his hair in frustration, “I’m not going to pry to their business ever again.”

 

Entering the cozy cafe they discovered a few years back, Jaehwan spots Daniel, Jihoon, and Seongwu on their usual table, seemingly waiting for his arrival. He sits next to his roommate and in front of Jihoon, the youngest of the four playing something on his phone while leaning his head on Daniel. He remembers Jihoon telling him the title of the game last week, but he already forgot the moment they separated ways. _‘Was it Space Boom? Space Collision? Space Impact? Might as well not mention it to Jihoon.’_

 

“So, now that Jaehwan’s here, what is this all about?” Daniel asks, looking at Seongwu while playing Jihoon’s hair.  “I don’t even know why I’m here.” Jaehwan counters back.

 

“It’s because you unconsciously involved yourself in this mess.” Seongwu replies back to him. “It’s not like I had a choice. All I did was play the demo while showering.”  Jaehwan retorts, now knows what this meeting was all about. Seongwu hits him, making him whine in pain. The oldest of the four sees Daniel looking at them, and he decides to drop the bomb. “Minhyun is here in Seoul.”

 

Jaehwan observes Daniel and Jihoon straighten up at the mention of his officemate’s name. After all, the couple in front of them are Seongwu’s best friends for years, they probably knew the details better than him.

 

Staring wide eyed at Seongwu, Jihoon questions, “Do you know where he is, hyung?”

 

“This is where Jaehwan comes in,” Seongwu answers, and the couple diverts their gazes to him, looking at him for answers. The former continues, “He’s been working with him for two months now.”

 

“He’s been here for two months?” Daniel blurts out, still looking at him, “How come you didn’t tell us?” Jaehwan held both of his hands up, “I didn’t even know until I played one of his compositions while showering and Seongwu punched the wall, demanding to know who was the one singing on my phone.”

 

“Sorry about that incident, Jaehwan. I was just shocked to hear that voice again, and I just wanted to know if my suspicions are correct.” Seongwu apologizes, and Jaehwan dismissed his apology.

 

Jihoon, who was still in doubt, shares his thoughts. “Hyung, maybe the voice was just similar, or maybe there are more Hwang Minhyun’s lurking here in Seoul. I don’t think we should jump in conclusions that he’s here.”

 

“Oh, Jihoon, my baby. I am not jumping into conclusions.” Seongwu coos, ignoring Daniel’s possessive retort of _‘He’s my baby, hyung!’_ “Last week, my mom called me and said there’s a letter that arrived for me, and she just sent it to our apartment when she called me.” Seongwu mentions as he rummages on his bag. “I received this earlier on mail and guess who sent it.” He slides the letter in front of the three for them to inspect. “He says he’s in Seoul and asks if we could meet, so he could tell me what happened to him years ago. He even left his mobile number.”

 

Jaehwan checked the handwriting on the mail, and confirms that it is indeed, Minhyun’s handwriting. He also checked if the number on his phone matches the phone number written on Seongwu’s letter, and it did.

 

Jaehwan finds it amazing how small the world is.

 

As he places down the letter from his hands, he hears Jihoon ask Seongwu. “What are you going to do, hyung?” The man in question sighs and shakes his head. “I don’t know, Jihoon.”

 

“Hyung, there are only three choices on how you’re going to approach this.” Daniel starts, “First, you don’t contact him at all. But since you’ve been dying to know what happened back then, I bet you’re not going to choose this option. Second, you meet him again, talk and leave the cafe in separate ways. Or third, meet him again, find the closure that you both need and be friends, at least. Which brings me to ask you this question,” Daniel pauses. Jaehwan watches him lean forward and hold Jihoon’s hand for moral support, he guesses.

 

“Do you want to continue where you left off?”

 

The whole table was silent, save from the bustling atmosphere of the cafe. Seongwu blinks, thinking deeply about Daniel’s question, and sighs in vain.

 

“Go home, hyung, and think about it. We’re all grown ups now and I think, after years of ignoring what you feel, you just have to follow what your heart is saying.”

 

Jaehwan thinks that maybe, he really shouldn’t play cupid and put his nose on their business, and just let the two separated lovers decide and walk on their own path.

 

~~~~

 

 

 

Minhyun met and apologized to Jaehwan four days after the incident in the cafeteria, saying that it’s not his intention to snap at him like that. Jaehwan dismissed his apologies, and argues that he’s in the wrong too for letting his curiosity speak for himself. All was good, they made up and were back to their bickering selves.

 

He was teaching Daehwi, a trainee on their company, on how he would be able to release his vocal color even more when his phone rings. Without looking at the caller ID, he picks it up and greets the caller. The other line was silent for a while, and he was about to check if the line was dropped or not when he hears the familiar voice, albeit deeper but still familiar, greet him.

 

_‘Hello, Minhyun. How are you?’_

 

He almost dropped his phone in shock, but he composed himself told the caller to wait for a minute. He tells Daehwi that he’s allowed to take a break for fifteen minutes. Once his student went out, his attention was back on the caller on his phone.

 

“Seongwu?” Minhyun asks.

 

He hears Seongwu hum at affirmation. _‘Do you want to grab something to drink after your work?”_ Minhyun nods, unable to speak because his heart is beating fast. He then realized that Seongwu can’t see him nod, so he said his confirmation out loud.

 

 _‘Okay. I’ll meet you at the cafe outside your company. See you later.’_ A moment of silence had passed and then followed with beeps, signalling that the phone call was cut.

 

If he’s not in a state on shock, he probably would’ve asked how did Seongwu knew where he works at. But he still is, and his brain is just full of thoughts of meeting Seongwu for the first time and how excited and nervous he is at the same time.

 

He just hope he won’t screw this up.

 

 

 

 

 

Minhyun heads to the cafe after work, hands sweating due to nervousness. He can’t believe that he’s finally meeting Seongwu for the first time, that he still remembers him, and he is willing to know the cause of the neglected love letters.

 

He can’t wait to know how different Seongwu is between his letters and in his real glory. But at the same time, he doesn’t want to know if Seongwu wants to call the whole ordeal off, if he is willing to continue where they left off, or he just wants to be friends.

 

Because in his heart, he knows that he doesn’t want to go their separate ways, nor does he want to be ‘just friends.’

 

Entering the cafe, Minhyun notices Jaehwan seated on one of the booths, waving at him to come over. He also doesn’t miss another presence in front of his friend, back facing him as the former strides over to where Jaehwan is. “What do you want, Jaehwan?” He asks his colleague as a greeting.

 

“Ah, nothing. I’m just doing my job as a cupid, Minhyun hyung.” Jaehwan humors him. “Let me formally introduce you my roommate and friend of nine years, Ong Seongwu.” He pauses, and turns to Seongwu to introduce the newcomer, “Seongwu hyung, this is my colleague of two months, and apparently your penpal eight years ago, Hwang Minhyun.”

 

Minhyun steps forward and looks at Seongwu, taking in everything that he could see. He feels like the world beyond them stopped the moment he locked eyes with Seongwu. The pictures that he had kept years ago didn’t justify how Seongwu looks in real life. He’s like a statue sculpted perfectly by an artist, a flower that perfectly bloomed in spring. For him, Seongwu already looked good on the faded pictures that he had kept, but real life Seongwu looks like a beautiful painting that he’s afraid to touch.

 

“My job here is done.” Jaehwan says as he stands up, and sets himself aside to let Minhyun sit down on his vacated seat. “I hope you resolve everything after this meeting.” He waves at both of them, and leaves the cafe.

 

Awkward air filled them as soon as Jaehwan left. “Do you want to order anything?” Minhyun offers Seongwu as he stands up, ready to head to the counter to order something to drink. “Yeah, I’ll have iced americano. Large size.” The taller of the two nods, and heads to the barista to order the drinks.

 

Beyond his calm exterior, Minhyun is already dying out of nervousness. He feels like he’s palpitating, and his mind feels like it’s running in a marathon. However, his moment to breathe comes short when the same barista hands out his order. He thanks the barista, and he goes back to their table. Placing Seongwu’s drink in front of its owner, he sits down and sips his camomile tea.

 

Seongwu breaks the silence, “I swear if this tastes like a diluted soy sauce, I’m going to dump this on you and leave.”

 

Minhyun stared at him, dumbfounded at Seongwu’s passive remark. A certain prank flashed on his mind, he then suddenly remembered that he wrote about it to Seongwu. He chuckles first, then his companion followed him right after, and then the laughter dies down gradually. They sip their drinks in silence, constantly glancing at each other when they thought that one doesn’t look at the other. Minhyun, who got tired of being silent, decides to speak.

 

“Seongwu,” “Minhyun,” Both of them spoke at the same time.

 

Minhyun gestures for Seongwu to continue what he’s going to say. Seongwu did just that, “How are you?”

 

“I’m….fine,” He answers, unsure if ‘fine’ was really the right word for what he’s feeling right now. “Kind of stressed due to my work as a vocal trainer, but I love my students so all is well, I guess.” He straightens up, holding his cup of tea on both of his hands. “How about you?”

 

“I feel terrible,” Seongwu replies back.

 

A rush of thoughts flooded Minhyun as he thinks what made Seongwu feel terrible. He thinks that maybe it’s because he decided to contact him again, that Seongwu’s only here because he felt bad if he won’t answer his letter.

 

Minhyun was about to apologize for taking up his time when Seongwu interrupts his train of thoughts, “My body aches everywhere. I teach modern dance at Daniel’s newly opened dance studio around the corner, and my students were a bunch of hyperactive kids. I had to calm them down first before we start the lessons.” He sighs, flipping his hair towards the back of his head. At the action, Minhyun thought that he wants to run his hands on Seongwu’s soft, black hair.

 

He notices Seongwu’s gaze travel from his eyes to his wrist, seemingly inspecting the bracelet on it, “You’re wearing it.” Minhyun tears his gaze away from Seongwu to see the bracelet with a fox pendant on his left wrist, “Yeah, I wore them the moment you sent them and didn’t remove it ever since.” He dropped his gaze from his bracelet to look at Seongwu once more, however, he notices the bracelet on Seongwu’s left wrist. “You are wearing yours, too.” The latter shrugs, “Didn’t remove this ever since either.”

 

Silence filled them after that, but the awkwardness was not that much unlike before. Seongwu, who had been staring at Minhyun, breaks the ice.

 

“So, what happened to you? Why did you stop sending the letters?”

 

Minhyun decides that it’s time to spill his tea.

 

 

 

 

 

> _Minhyun was sitting on the stairs at the main entrance of his university, waiting for his father to come. His father told him earlier at breakfast that he’s going to pick Minhyun up in university, for he needs help in buying groceries and carry them to put in the car. Minhyun knows that their parents are not getting any younger, so he decides that helping them won’t hurt._
> 
>  
> 
> _Seeing the car at the main gates, Minhyun stands up, grabs his bag, and flies down the stairs to meet his father. He greets his dad upon opening the passenger door, and secures his seatbelt around his body as soon as he’s seated._
> 
>  
> 
> _He started telling his dad about his day, about how his professor scolded someone from sleeping on his class, and about how his friends in class suddenly got worried about the recital that they’re going to perform at the end of the semester. He told him that he is also worried about the recital, but his dad reassured him that he had the voice to do it, he just needed to have the right emotions while singing his piece._
> 
>  
> 
> _The father-and-son duo arrived at the grocery store in no time, and because Minhyun is the most talkative one in the household, he started talking to his father about his high school friends’ university life in Seoul—stories that they told him when they called each other. Minhyun shared that Minki and Jonghyun started dating, and that Aron is also dating one of their seniors in his class. Baekho, according to him, was too busy to date, and that he’s not thinking about it at that moment._
> 
>  
> 
> _His father then asks him about Seongwu. He tells him that he’s sad because it becomes more difficult to catch up with Seongwu, and that he’s afraid that he’ll think that he’s not that invested with the relationship that they started._
> 
>  
> 
> _This is one of the reasons why he’s not afraid to share everything to his family. Despite the country’s opposition to homosexual relationships, his family is different, and they have been very supportive of his preferences._
> 
>  
> 
> _As he pushed the cart to the other aisle, his father suggests him, “Why not surprise him?” Confused, Minhyun asks as he picks up the bread from the shelf. “What do you mean, dad?” He sees his dad scan the grocery list his mom had gave him and gestures to reach for a bottle of soy sauce, “Well, you don’t have classes this weekend, right?” Minhyun nods, his father continues, “How about after we shop, we drop by the train station and buy your ticket to Seoul?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _In shock, Minhyun almost drops the bottle of soy sauce in his hands, “Really, dad? You’ll let me travel to Seoul? Alone?” His father nods, “Why not? Do you want me and your mom to come along? You’re twenty-two. You’re old enough to travel alone.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _“I really don’t mind if you come along, though.” Minhyun reveals, finally placing the soy sauce in the cart. “Ah, thank you dad. I promise that one day, I’ll bring Seongwu here and introduce him to you. I really owe you one.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _His father shrugs as he picks tomatoes from the basket in the produce area. “Me and your mom just wants you and your sister to be happy with your life. If he makes you happy, who are we to prevent your happiness?” His father pats his back. “Now, let’s hurry before the train station closes.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _With the roundtrip ticket in his hands, Minhyun sits down on the passenger seat and secures his seatbelt on his body. He pulls out his walkman in his bag, plugs his earphones in, and slips the ticket in one of his books as his dad starts the car’s engine. “Dad, I’m going to take a nap. I feel tired.” His dad chuckles, “Okay. Dream about Seongwu while on our way home.” It’s his turn to chuckle, blushing as he did so._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Oh, and Minhyun?” The said boy turns to his father, “I just want you to remember that I love you, your mom and your sister. Always be happy.” Minhyun snorts, “Dad, why are you being sweet all of the sudden?“ He sees his father shrug and smile at him, ”Just because.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _He chuckles again, finding his father cute, and plays his favorite mixtape on his walkman. He closes his eyes, letting the sound of music lull him to sleep. Contrary to his dad’s presumption, Minhyun had a dreamless nap. He can only feel how the engine rumbles on his body, how the air conditioning cools down his face, and how warm the window is from his cheeks._
> 
>  
> 
> _Something pricks his arm, and then suddenly he feels like he’s being lifted from his seat without anybody lifting him. Eyes still closed, he can feel his shoulders being banged up on the sides of the car, feeling the world spin too fast until he felt himself lean forward abruptly, his forehead got striked with some force that he hasn’t felt before, and then everything stopped._
> 
>  
> 
> _His senses must have been numbed, because he can’t feel his walkman in his hands, nor hear the music in his ears, but he can feel that his head is throbbing in so much pain. Confused to why he’s feeling that way, he opens his eyes slowly, and sees the windshield of their car got smashed from an impact that he doesn’t know. He tries to move his head to assess the situation, but he can’t move at all, so he moves his eyes slowly to the driver’s side. He sees his dad slumped on the steering wheel, something red trickling on his head and his body._
> 
>  
> 
> _“D-dad...” Minhyun whispers as he tries to defy the heaviness of his body and reach out to his dad to wake him up, and then suddenly, his vision became black._
> 
>  
> 
> _His eyes were itchy. He tries to move his arm to scratch them, but he can’t move a muscle at all. He slowly opens his eyes, white ceiling greets him as he hears something beep in rhythm on his left side. He turns to the sound, and sees his sister with her head down on her arms as she sleeps. He feels that his throat is getting itchy, so he swallows in order to relieve it. However, it didn’t relieve him at all, so he groans in exasperation. The groan made his older sister wake up. She fussed around him, calling for nurses and doctors until she gets the water bottle on the bedside table and press the straw on his lips. The water soothed his dry throat, and he nods at his sister in gratefulness._
> 
>  
> 
> _“How are you feeling, little brother?” His sister asks him as she holds his hand, worry evident on her tone. Clearing his throat, he answers, “My body aches all over.” He tried squeezing her hand, but the small action elicited pain instead. “How long did I sleep?” He asks her as his eyes was searching for his mother, and he assumed that his mother was looking out for his father at the other ward. “About a month now.” Was what his sister replied. He was shocked to hear it’s been a month since him and his father had been admitted to the hospital._
> 
>  
> 
> _Minhyun asks his sister, “How’s dad?”_
> 
>  
> 
> _Head down low, his sister whispers, “Minhyun….”_

 

“Dad passed away.” Minhyun reveals as he took a deep breath, hands trembling as he recalls the memory. “We were involved in a car accident. My sister told me, after being comatosed for a month, that dad didn’t make it to the hospital on that day of the accident.” His voice is shaking as he tells everything that had happened to Seongwu. The latter stood up and moved beside him, apologizing for making him remember and saying condolences as he tries to calm him down by rubbing his back.

 

“But why didn’t you tell me?” Seongwu asks him, “Heck, I would even beg my parents to let me visit you in Busan.”

 

“I don’t know. I was in shock, and I felt lost.” Minhyun pushes his hair back and looks on his cup of tea, ”I felt guilty back then, and I thought everything was my fault. If we didn’t make an extra trip to get train tickets, I thought that he’ll be alive still. It took me awhile to accept it, but I’ve already forgiven myself, thanks to my mom and sister’s assurance that the accident was not my fault.”

 

Retrieving his hands from Minhyun’s back, Seongwu inquires, “Then why are you telling me this now?”

 

“I finally had the courage to listen to the mixtape you sent few years ago,” Minhyun discloses. “At that moment, I felt that you deserve to know what happened back then, even though it’s six years too late. I have no idea if you already forgot about me, or if you already moved on from the past, but I thought that it will give me the peace of mind if I told you what happened.”

 

Seongwu smiles, “Thank you for finally telling me, Minhyun-ah.” The mentioned man whips his head to look at Seongwu, confused. “Really? You forgive me just like that? I left you hanging on to some flimsy written promise, Seongwu. I don’t think I deserve to be forgiven that quickly.”

 

Seongwu scolds him slightly, “It may be flimsy to you, but for me, it’s a genuine written promise. It’s even better written because then I have an evidence that you promised me something.”

 

Minhyun looks at him in the eyes, hoping that his sincerity will reach Seongwu, “I really am sorry for everything, Seongwu-ah. You didn’t deserve to be treated like that.” He muses. The aforementioned man places his hand on top of Minhyun’s, “You’re right, I don’t deserve to be treated like that, but I completely understand why you did it, although it would save us time if you just told me.” Minhyun was about to apologize again when Seongwu squeezes his hand, “Don’t worry about it. Let’s leave it all behind.” He was silent for awhile, as if he’s thinking what he should say next, and then he prompts his hand out, asking for a handshake, “So, friends?”

 

Minhyun wants to be more than friends, but he thinks that being friends is better than not having Seongwu within his reach. He grasps the younger’s hand and shakes it,

 

“Friends.”

 

 

 

After the grand revelation, Seongwu’s mobile phone decided to cut their staring contest with each other. Excusing himself as he accepts the call, he hisses and asks the caller what he wants. Minhyun hears him sigh, dejected at whatever the other person at the end of the line is saying. He hears him lowly hum in affirmation and sees him end the phone call, face full of annoyance as he pockets the little device.

 

Seongwu stands up, “Sorry, Minhyun. But I have to cut this reunion short. Something ridiculous happened at the dance studio, and Daniel needs my help.”

 

Minhyun also stands up, “Let me walk you there, at least? Take it as a thank you for being my company tonight, and for accepting my apology.”

 

Seongwu seems to ponder for a moment, but accepts Minhyun’s offer in the end.

 

The walk to Daniel’s dance studio was full of Minhyun’s endless chatter and Seongwu’s input on whatever Minhyun was saying. Minhyun started sharing about his part time job in a bakery when he was still in university. He tells Seongwu about his female coworker back then, who kept on touching and flirting with him whenever she got the chance. He tells him that what made his coworker stop flirting with him was when he laughed at her when she slipped on the floor.

 

Seongwu hollers at his story, “You’re mean, but even women fall from your presence.” Minhyun just chuckled. He wants to retort with something along the lines of ‘I want you to fall in love with me again.’ but he chose to not risk it and kept the words to himself.

 

They continued sharing most of their university experience on their walk that they almost failed to notice their destination. Stopping in front of the glass doors, Minhyun was about to say his farewell when Seongwu asks him, “Do you want to come in? It’s nowhere near prestigious, really.” He fidgets, “Only if you want to.”

 

Minhyun smiles and nods, “I don’t have anything to do in my apartment anyways.”

 

Seongwu holds the door as Minhyun comes in, who is seemingly amazed at the interior of the lobby. A huge, elegant, black reception desk greeted him along with the couch that acts as the waiting area. He steps in on the polished wood floor, which contrasts the walls that were covered with light, pastel orange wallpaper. The logo of the dance studio plastered on the wall has a pair of feet, both a man and a woman, who seems to be dancing on top of the dancing studio’s name—-Steps in Motion—-that acts as the floor for the feet.

 

“Daniel and Jihoon rented this place two years ago and designed the studio on their own, including that logo.” Seongwu shares as he points at the logo on the wall that they passed by. “This place looks so good.” Minhyun exclaims, amazed at the interior of the place. Seongwu shrugs as he guides them to the hallways, “Fascinating, isn’t it? I don’t know how they managed to create that great logo, let alone the interior of this place. Both of them suck at art.”

 

Minhyun can only giggle as Seongwu stops and opens the door to an office. He sees a lone figure pacing back and forth worriedly, seemingly unsure of his decisions in his life. He hears Seongwu clear his throat, and that catches the attention of the pacing man.

 

“Seongwu! I’m really sorry I interrupted your date, but Jihoon says Peter is throwing up and he rushed him to the hospital. I called Woojin to cover for me instead but he says he can’t because of his other job.” Minhyun hears the man say hurriedly, who clasped their hands together while looking relieved that he saw Seongwu. The latter was silent, and then suddenly, the man in front of them turned his attention towards him. “Oh, who is this?”

 

“Hello, I’m Hwang Minhyun. Seongwu’s friend.” Minhyun brought his hand up for a handshake. The man grabbed the outstretched hand and shook them, and stares at Seongwu as if conveying his question through his eyes. Minhyun sees the latter nod, and the exchange made him wonder what the silent question was all about.

 

The man shifts his gaze into him, smiling brightly like a kid that was given his favorite candy, “I’m Kang Daniel, Seongwu’s best friend.” Minhyun smiles, his name already familiar with him as he recalls Seongwu mentioning him on the letters he had sent him a few years back, and he’s glad that he finally met the one Seongwu had trusted all these years.

 

“So you said you wanted me to supervise the kids?” Seongwu asks Daniel, interrupting their introductions. The latter turns to his best friend, gratefulness prominent in his expression. “Yes. Either instruct them to practice the routine I’ve taught them, or whatever you want them to do, hyung. You’re in charge.”

 

Daniel’s phone suddenly pings, signalling for a new message. Minhyun notes Daniel’s panic once he saw the message, typing furiously on his phone. He looks up to the new comers as he pockets his device. “Sorry, I have to go. My son needs me.” Seongwu rolls his eyes at his best friend’s statement as Daniel veers to Minhyun and pats his right shoulder, “Nice to finally meet you, Minhyun-ssi.” He smiles, then rushes out.

 

Observing the retreating figure, Minhyun starts, “It’s nice to have a family of your own. You have something to worry about other than yourself.” His companion chuckles, “Well, if you’re like him and considers his cats as his sons, then I can’t argue with that.” Minhyun cackles, and then nods. “I didn’t know his sons are his cats, but I don’t think there’s anything wrong with that.”

 

Both of them hears the commotion coming from the outside, and sees the students stream in the studio as they talk animatedly about their routine. Minhyun sees Seongwu fidget, seemingly unsure of what to do as they see the students go to their respective lockers to drop their things, and head straight on to the practice room. Taking note of the Seongwu’s hesitation, Minhyun veers to him, “I can leave. That way, you don’t have to divide your attention to your students just to check on me.”

 

“I was actually going to ask If you want to see me teach though,” Seongwu counters, tone having a subtle determination to make him stay that Minhyun almost fails to catch. Minhyun smiles, and relents at the not-so-subtle request.

 

He follows Seongwu to the practice room where Daniel’s students came in earlier, and the said students, who were around fifteen to eighteen, were surprised seeing him and Seongwu enter the room instead of their usual instructor. Tone full of mischief, Seongwu informs the students of the situation. “Don’t be surprised kids, but Daniel abandoned you guys because of his puking cat.”

 

Instead of the hearing groans of affirmation or protests, Minhyun hears hushed conversations instead, along with the teenagers’ curious glances towards him. One student, however, had plucked some courage and asked Seongwu the golden question on behalf of his classmates.

 

“Hyung, is he the one who Daniel hyung said ‘the one that got away’ from your life?”

 

Minhyun wants to run away from his spot, embarrassed for the both of the because the topic has been opened in his presence. He isn’t even quite sure if he’s actually the one Daniel talked about, if Seongwu had the ‘ones that got away’ from his past relationships after his. But he is sure that he is one of them.

 

He hears Seongwu grumble lowly, threatening to kill his best friend without blood being spluttered on the walls. Perhaps, he can save Seongwu from the embarrassment by saying a white lie, can’t he? “No, kids. I’m just his friend from a long time ago that got reunited earlier. I got nothing to do at my apartment, that’s why I’m here.” Minhyun dusts the non existent dirt on his pants, “If you don’t mind me observing you, I’ll just sit at that corner?” He questions the students, pointing at the lone chair at the corner of the room. The teenagers enthusiastically responds they don’t mind, and so he settles himself in the chair as the students proceed with their warm ups per Seongwu’s instructions.

 

Seongwu, on the other hand, looks professional but playful at the same time. His stern exterior as he corrects one student’s mistake, and his cheerful demeanor as he praises another student makes Minhyun’s stomach churn in admiration. The latter could feel that Seongwu applauds his students’ efforts in learning a difficult routine, and that he is proud that they had made it this far in the program.

 

As he watches the students organize an impromptu dance battle, he sees one of them drag Seongwu in the middle of the circle, and the dance instructor fluidly moves according to the beat. He’s awed at how Seongwu makes the complicated moves look simple and flawless, and how graceful Seongwu is in general.

 

Completely enamoured at the performance being shown in front of his eyes, he missed the glint that a group of students near him expressed towards his direction, and got dragged unknowingly in the middle of the makeshift battle ground, Seongwu moving aside to accommodate him. Letting go of his resolve as a reserved person, he shakes his butt according to the beat, and his embarrassment comes back full force as the students cheered loudly for him.

 

Minhyun instinctively looks for the dance instructor, and upon seeing him smiling at him, he launches himself to him, hugging him by the shoulder and hiding in between the crook of his neck. He hears Seongwu let out a surprised squeak followed by a low laugh, but feels his arms around his waist, large hands comforting him from the embarrassment.

 

Suddenly realizing what he’s done, he reluctantly lets Seongwu go, already missing his presence in his arms. “Sorry,” Minhyun whispers softly, head down low as his hands fumble around the back of his neck. Seongwu smiles and dismisses his apology, “Don’t be, I know you’re just embarrassed.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Thank you, Minhyun.”

 

“For what?”

 

“For walking and staying with me at the studio, and for walking me home.”

 

“Don’t be. It’s the least that I can do.”

 

“Message me when you get home?”

 

“Okay.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The confirmation message of him getting home safely, turned into greeting texts every morning, afternoon, and evening. The good afternoon texts somehow shifted into ‘ _how are you?’_ and ‘ _what are you doing?’_ texts. Weeks later, they exchanged messages everyday, texting about anything under the sun, which morphed into calls every night that lasts until midnight. However, both of them talk too much, and because their phone bills are blowing up, it became an excuse to invite the other for a hangout in a cafe.

 

Just like today.

 

And like every other cafe hangouts (or date, he claims) that they do, Minhyun never fails to walk with Seongwu to his apartment, even if he knows Seongwu is capable of taking care of himself. The latter asked him once why was he doing this, and he nonchalantly told him that he doesn’t want to hear him boast about people staring at him because of his ‘godlike features’ without seeing it for himself.

 

An excuse indeed, just because Minhyun wants to spend more time with him.

 

However, this walk to Seongwu’s apartment was a little different than usual because his companion suddenly wants to buy an ice cream near the park they’re passing by.

 

“I suddenly craved for a honeycomb ice cream.” Seongwu explains. Minhyun grumbles lowly because it’s not really the season for an ice cream—it’s February for goodness sake—but he still went in the ice cream parlor with Seongwu, purchasing a mint chocolate ice cream for himself.

 

They spent the rest of the walk in a comfortable silence, eating their own ice cream at their own pace. The coldness of the ice cream on his mouth was a stark contrast on the warmth that he’s feeling right now, walking right beside Seongwu, the warmth that Minhyun feels every time whenever he’s with him

 

As their ice cream cones got finished, so does their walk to Seongwu’s apartment. The latter faces him, the corner of his lips stained with the honeycomb goodness, and without saying anything, Minhyun lifts his hand, armed with a tissue that he kept in his pocket, to wipe the formed stain on the younger’s mouth.

 

“Minhyun,” Seongwu softly says as Minhyun drops his arm back on his side. Before he could ask Seongwu what he wants, he catches the younger’s eyes focusing on his.

 

“Minhyun, I like you. I still like you.”

 

His breath hitches at Seongwu’s admittance, ears going red as he never expected him to like him back, still like him back. Minhyun feels like everything is a dream that he doesn’t want to wake up into. He pinches his other hand subtly to check if it’s real, and he nearly yelps from the pain.

 

“I’m going to close my eyes,” Seongwu says as he releases the breath that he’s been holding, “Kiss me if you want us to date, leave if you don’t want to.”

 

Seongwu’s gaze linger a bit more before he closes his eyes. Minhyun assesses him, and sees that the radiant dawn reflecting on Seongwu’s face made him look more elegant, like a fragile million dollar vase. His eyes that were full of mirth and mysteriousness when open, appears soft when closed. The moles on his face, which resembles a constellation in a galaxy, magically traces itself as if it unites everything in his life. And his lips, thin on the upper but thick on the lower, makes him wonder how it feels on his.

 

Without stopping himself, Minhyun reaches out to cup Seongwu’s face, thumb tracing the moles that he secretly adores, and kisses him softly but tenderly.

 

A cotton candy, he deduces. Seongwu’s lips feels and tastes like a honeycomb cotton candy.

 

Nothing major changed after their confession, except that they can finally hold each other’s hands without discretion, and their touches linger more than necessary.

 

 

———————-

xc.

———————-

 

“Everyone!”

 

Minhyun hears Dongho say on stage as his group of friends prepare for their next performance. They are at the cafe where Minhyun’s high school friends occasionally sing for the cafe’s patrons for the past years. Minhyun got invited by Dongho when they were eating lunch at their company, and had asked him to tag Seongwu along so that Minki, Jonghyun and Aaron could finally meet his boyfriend.

 

Who was he to refuse a performance from his favorite indie band?

 

Interlocking Seongwu’s hand with his under the table, he hears the customers quiet down and pay attention to his best friend on stage.

 

“A lot of you knew that we started this band when we were in high school in Busan, but we didn’t tell you that we were originally five members.” Dongho says onto the microphone, looking straight at him. Minhyun furrows his eyebrows, unsure on what his best friend plans to do by bringing up the topic.

 

“Now, you do know that we were the ones who compose our own songs right? This strayed fifth member of ours was our lyricist back then, and some of the songs that you’ve been hearing for the past years were written by him, including Daybreak.” The group’s main vocalist reveals, emitting gasps from almost everyone in the cafe. They did mention, when they visited him back then, that they performed Daybreak at the cafe, but he just didn’t know how their customers liked the song.

 

Amidst the whispers, Seongwu tugs his boyfriend’s hand and asks, “What was Daybreak all about, Minhyunnie?”

 

Minhyun smiles at Seongwu and answers, “My feelings for you.” Seongwu blushes at the answer and hits Minhyun on his arm. The older chuckles at his reaction and kisses his boyfriend’s red cheeks.

 

He wrote Daybreak when he realized his feelings for Seongwu eight years ago, and performed it with the band at their school’s festival. The song received a lot of love from the student body and professors back then, and after that certain school festival, they got invited at other schools to perform.

 

Based on the gasps and whispers that he heard around him, he then knew that everyone remembered and liked it.

 

Shushing the crowd, Dongho continues, “However, I want to call him up here not to sing Daybreak with us, but to challenge him.” Minhyun furrows his eyebrows in confusion, and sees the glint of amusement from his friends’ eyes. “With our guidance, if he could sing some lyrics on the spot, the band will treat him and his partner meals for a week.”

 

“YAH!” He shouts in betrayal as he stands up, pointing his finger at his amused friends. However, as soon as the crowd sees his violent reaction, they began chanting to make him go up the stage. Even Seongwu chants beside him.

 

“Come on, Minhyun! Either you embarrass yourself or the band in front of their fans.” Seongwu chuckles, and pushes Minhyun out of their table to go to the stage. Without any choice, he trudges to the stage as the crowd cheers happily. He glares on his friends as soon as he settles himself on the provided chair, threatening his friends by pointing the microphone in his hands.

 

“I’ll make sure this band will be broke by the end of the week.” He grumbles, and turns to the audience. “Give me a topic so I could make them regret doing this.”

 

The crowd chuckles, but then proceeds to give him one word answers. However, a certain female from the audience shouts loudly at the back, “About your boyfriend!” The audience chuckled once again, but starts to chant the suggestion. From the stage, Minhyun sees Seongwu hide behind his hands at the crowd’s request.

 

He smiles brightly at Seongwu before turning to the crowd, “About my boyfriend? I can do that.” He looks at Dongho and nods his head once, “Ok, bandit. Hit that keyboard.”

 

Slow, low tune starts to emit through the speakers as Dongho plays his keyboard. He turns to Seongwu and looks at him. He asks himself what is his most favorite thing about Seongwu. He muses that he had always looked at Seongwu in his eyes, even at the photos he received from before. Now that he has the freedom to look at his eyes every time, he finds it fascinating that there is something beyond his eyes when he looks at them. There’s depth with the way he looks at him that makes him lost but safe at the same time.

 

His most favorite thing about Seongwu must be his eyes, and he sings just that.

 

Still looking at Seongwu, Minhyun begins singing, conveying what he feels about him through his impromptu song.

 

_No one ever saw me like you do,_

_All the things that I could add up too._

_I never knew just what a smile was worth,_

_But your eyes say everything without a single word._

 

_‘Cause there’s something in the way you look at me,_

_It’s as if my heart knows you’re the missing piece._

_You make me believe that there’s nothing in this world I can’t be_

_I never know what you see,_

_But there’s something in t[he way you look at me.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_Ti8Jp7rY_E)_

 

The piano fades out together with his voice, and the crowd cheers at the end of the song. Minhyun turns to his friends, and sees their proud smiles on their faces. Teasingly, he says in the mic “With how the crowd is reacting right now, I expect our dinner every night for a week.” He chuckles at his friends’ groans of agony. However, he knows that it’s just their way to say that they’re happy for him and Seongwu.

 

Minhyun steps down the stage, and goes to the table where Seongwu is. “So, my eyes, huh?” His boyfriend says teasingly. Minhyun chuckles as he sits down beside him, and interlocks their hands. “Shut up.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

> _His dad is in front of him, clothes in contrast with the darkness around them. He seems far away from his dad, but he could see him smiling brightly even from afar. His dad looks younger than he was back then, and looks genuinely happy and free._
> 
>  
> 
> _He makes a move to go closer to him so he could hug him and tell him about his day, but his feet stay rooted on the ground. He panics, but when he looked up, he sees his dad smiling at him with fondness in his eyes. It made him calm down, and he finds himself smiling back at him._
> 
>  
> 
> _“Son, I’m happy that you have forgiven yourself, and I’m also glad that you finally found him, your happiness.”_
> 
>  
> 
> _He sees his dad fade in the darkness, bringing his smile along with him. But instead of panic, he heart feels lighter; like a huge rock that got stuck for a long time was finally out of the way._
> 
>  
> 
> _He wakes up, mind and heart feeling lighter than before, and sees his partner glowing under the rays of the sun peeking in from the window. He kisses his moles—his second most favorite thing in the world—and his lips before snuggling closer to him, determined to go back to sleep._
> 
>  
> 
> _Before drifting off, he thinks that he could live like this forever, and he also thanks his dad for visiting him in his dreams._

 

———————-

∞

———————-

 

“Minhyunnie, let’s watch the sunrise together.” Seongwu says suddenly, his head leaning on Minhyun’s shoulder, both of them were wrapped in a warm blanket while watching the late-night news. The older of the two checks the time, and its currently midnight.

 

“Do you want to just stay up while waiting for the dawn? We could watch some of the movies that I rented a week ago.” Minhyun replies, hugging Seongwu tightly in his arms.

 

“Sure,” At the confirmation, Minhyun gets up to set up the ‘movies in one disk’ that he rented on their cd player. While Minhyun sets up the disk, Seongwu lies down on the couch, and leaving some space behind him for his lover to lie on when he finished his task. As the movie starts playing, Minhyun settles himself on the space behind Seongwu, the younger settles his head on his lover’s outstretched arm while the former hugs his lover close to his chest.

 

Halfway through the second movie, Minhyun hears light snores coming from the person on his arms. He chuckles lightly, and kisses Seongwu’s forehead. Deciding to just wake him up when it’s time to go to the rooftop, Minhyun lets Seongwu sleep in his arms, and continues to watch the movies while waiting for the time to pass by.

 

Minhyun feels bad, but he has to wake Seongwu up if they don’t want to miss the sunrise. The younger says it’s okay, and that he really wants to watch the sunrise with Minhyun. Seongwu grabs his guitar from their room, and Minhyun grabs the blanket on their couch before heading up to the rooftop together.

 

Once they settled their blankets, he sees Seongwu adjust his guitar on his lap. “You know, when we stopped writing each other years ago, I bribed Jaehwan to teach me how to play a guitar.” Minhyun hears Seongwu chuckle, “and then when I mastered the guitar, I composed a song without everyone knowing. Because I want you to be the first one to hear it.”

 

Without waiting for Minhyun’s comment about his revelation, he starts to strum his guitar.

 

_Bucket full of tears_

_Baby know I’m here, I’m here waiting_

_Close your precious eyes and just realize_

_I’m still fighting_

_For you to be with me, and sit under this tree_

_We can watch the sunrise_

 

_Wake up, feel the air that I’m breathing_

_I can’t explain this feeling that I’m feeling_

_I won’t go another day without you._

_Hold tight, I promise it gets brighter_

_And when it rains, I’ll hold you even tighter_

_I won’t go another day[without you.](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bh7iqK97OAQ)_

 

At that moment, Minhyun realizes that he can’t live without Seongwu.

 

He can’t live without seeing his bright smile, without hugging Seongwu tightly both in hot and cold weathers while watching an afternoon drama, and without hearing him whisper on his ear, or laugh at his own lame jokes. He can’t live without feeling his own lips against Seongwu, kissing until one of them runs out of breath, nor can he live without Seongwu’s body flushed against his, feeling hot against his touch.

 

He doesn’t want to wake up without Seongwu by his side, or without him eating the food that Seongwu cooks, nor does he want to live without Seongwu teasing him about him being a clean freak. He doesn’t want to come home on an apartment void of Seongwu presence.

 

Seongwu sets his guitar aside after the song, and Minhyun thinks that he’s lucky that he picked Seongwu's address from the draw back then, that he's fortunate that Seongwu wrote him back, that he’s blessed to finally met him and to have him in his arms. He’s staring directly at Seongwu’s eyes, his favorite thing to look in the world, and feels his emotions threatening to burst on his chest and scream that he loves him so much. He’s about to sweetly profess his eternal love for Seongwu when he sees the latter go down on one knee and get something out of his pockets, retrieving a small box with a simple gold band on it.

 

“Minhyun, I know that our love was not perfect right from the start, and that I’m not the best person to be with. But I feel that my life will not be perfect without you by my side.” He sees Seongwu release the breath that he’s been holding, ”I want to kiss you before you sleep, and kiss you when wake you up. I want to do the laundry with you, wash the dishes with you, and clean the apartment with you. I want us to adopt children and two dogs, grow old together as we take care of them. If forever exists, I want to be with you for eternity. I could never live this life without you.” Minhyun gulps at the proposal, tears clouding his eyes as he looks straight at Seongwu. The latter unsurely asks, “Let’s get married in Canada?”

 

Minhyun chokes out, “Yes, idiot.” He grabs the simple gold ring from the box in Seongwu’s hand and wears it on his right fourth finger himself, ignoring the younger’s protests of _’I should be the one doing it for you’_.

 

Minhyun chuckles, bringing his face closer to Seongwu’s. “I love you, my Ongcheongie.”

 

Seongwu laughs too, looking at Minhyun’s eyes. “I love you too, my Hwangcheongie.”

 

They kiss at the first hint of daybreak.

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> thank you so much for reading and reaching to the finish line!
> 
> let me know what you think by commenting below, screaming at me on [twitter](http://www.twitter.com/PiggyNagi), or sprinkle some water on my dead [curiouscat](https://curiouscat.me/PiggyNagi)


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